if some people could talk....

disclaimer: the following article is my imagination of what the persons listed might say. i have a right to my imagination. this is a work of fiction.

i thought it would be fun to line up some of the irritating people in taiwan like they're barbie dolls (yes i am psychotic) and have them say shit that i've always wanted them to say. just for fun. oh, the truths they might tell....

S.H.E.- hi. we're taiwan government approved "artists", singing government approved songs with government approved lyrics in order to create government approved thinking in taiwan people so they are easy to control. please follow us mindlessly, and be sure to wave light sticks at concerts like you're part of a cult. thank you for your support.

girly male pop star- hi. i'm a girly guy taiwan star. my purpose is to create an unattainable standard in taiwan women's minds so that all guys here are forced into this soft, girly, doting mode. of course no real man can meet this standard, so TW women will become lesbians, thereby satsifying the agenda of state femenists in the bureau of news and cultural affairs. i also am the least talented MFer in taiwan. yet i continue to receive millions in budget, while indie artists receive none!

Sanrio All Stars- hi.we're the sanrio all-stars. we were created by a japanese company to provide a safe form of adolescent male sexual fixation while at the same time satifying the pedophilic needs of older men, as well well as helping girls to be sexual duds by dressing and acting half their age and living in a fantasy of percieved innocence. there are 8 of us, which ensures that you will like at least one of us and therfore buy our products. we hope that all asian women will become useless,infantile hello kittys who don't know what their VJ is for

average taiwan girl- hi, i'm a typical taiwan girl. i have a sky high unrealistic standard,because my VJ is made of gold (my daddy says so). i like men who listen to me, even when i utter totally stupid shit, and also gives me time to be with my girlfriends who are also totally stupid. i am 27 but dress like i'm 17, and talk like i'm on helium. even if i'm fat, i think all men are chasing me, but no man is good enough for me even though i weigh 100kgs (my daddy says so). i pick bimbo names like candy and summer, read comics and ridiculous romance novels, and basically am a dud.my dippiness is only matched by my breeder mentality. yes, sex is just for creating a son for my perfect boyfriend when we get married.

little S- i'm an over priviledged rich girl who gets more airtime than i'm worth. i love emascualting half the male population by bragging about how many babies i want to have with my hubbie. i have too many commericals on TV, and basically contribute to the dismal shallowness of the entertainment industry here.

wu dzong shien- i'm a taike. i tell stupid tasteless jokes on TV, and encourage others to be a taike. our culture (taike) is the greatest. other cultures produced radio, refrigeration, medical technology, etc. but our culture is still the greatest because we ride motorcycles with bad posture and spit betelnut. remember, the only thing that is important is to be a taike, and to hate foriegners.

fresh off the boat, condescending foriegner- i'm so happy to be here. everything about taiwan is wonderful, especially that fact that they let me be on TV as long as i say shallow things that reinforce their stereo type of western people. i also go along with whatever my bushiban boss says and teach english the way taiwan people like to be taught, aka the way that doesn't work. in fact, i can play around with these kids and make great money, so why rock the boat?

hmmm, all i can think of for now.

jeremy lin is an american

the powers that be in the government/media complex are already using this fantastic young man for their own agenda. Linsanity is just insane now. to watch the taiwan press you'd think that Lin is a glorious example of all that taiwan, "das motherland", can produce.
but the exact opposite is true- Lin is an american, born and bred in the United States. he's had more hamburgers in him in a year than most taiwanese down in half a lifetime.look at his height. you don't get tall and muscular like that on a mostly rice, taiwan style diet. he's had protien, and lots of calicium. he's also no doubt played basketball with some real cats, not some Kobe wannabes in expensive Nikes.
jeremy lin is also a devout christian, and that plays a key balance in his life and is his reason for being humble , aka " it's not me it's God". compare that to the bragadocious average taiwanese star.
taiwan media, leave this young man alone! stop hyping him. he's great, but hopefully he'll never be the media whore that you made wang jien ming into.

the makiyo saga continues....

recent news has police witholding evidence from the prosecutor's office- evidence that would further indict Makiyo has not a mere bystander, but a willing participant in the assault on the taxi driver. question is, the witholding was at whose request?
my guess is the powers that be in the entertainment industry, both green (money) and black (underworld). there is also talk of a settlement, as well as stepping down the charges from aggravated assault to simple assault.
the taxi driver probably stands to make a lot of money in this settlement from my guess. makiyo is worth more working than in jail.
yes, makiyo may even come out on top (a fantasy of mine, sorry for the pun). just as chu mei fong became a famous singer for sucking cock on candid camera, makiyo's wild brutality may make her even more popular than before.
a sickening thought. personally, i'd rather see her go to jail and meet some big sisters who will put her thru her paces. i'd like to see her left to working pole dancer after she gets out of jail.
the thing that i hate most about taiwan entertainers is that the majority of them are ungrateful for the opportunities they've ben given. yes, everyone makes mistakes, but if you live a certain lifestyle, you're going to make some serious ones. i've heard of stars running their own casinos, hanging out at questionable pubs, etc and getting into some serious trouble as a result. these aren't mistakes. they are errors in lifestyle. and they are systemic of the taiwan entertainment industry's highwire dance between governement sponsored infantilism and mafia backed debachery.
anyway, i hope NOT to see a makiyo CD in the near future.

makiyo is evil (along with most taiwan entertainers)

the more facts about this case that come out, the more i realize that makiyo is probably lying. what she and her friends did that night was evil.
its also systemic, because the taiwan entertainment industry is full of people just like her.
there are basically 3 ways to get famous in taiwan:

1. relation
2. relation
3. fucking

taiwan has the most nepotistic entertainment industry on the planet. a large majority of performers, especially those "ABC come to Taiwan" types, are only on your TV because some relation in the industry boosted their popularity beyond their actual talent. one very famous young ABC guy told me in these exact words, that he was only famous because his agent promised his mom to make him famous.
then there is the dark side of this, ie those boosted to popularity via sleeping their way to the top. i have no idea if makiyo has played this game and don't really care, because she wouldn't be the only one.
i for one am glad to see her exposed, as well as the whole wicked lot of them. i'm tired of her, and also "Little S and Big S" and their overpriviledged pussies being on TV all the time. i'm particulary tired that everytime Little S opens her legs for her husband to make another baby it's big news.
damn the whole wicked lot of them. and good riddance, Miss "HiChew".