Wednesday, November 7, 2012

more wing chun bullshit, exposed

sorry to divert once again to martial arts, but since i don't actually have a "wing chun blog" i will merge my two interests (wing chun and taiwan stupidity) in one post. bear with me. i'll try to make it relevant to taiwan/chinese culture.

wing chun is full of shit. yes it's a good style, but there is some defintite bullshit going on in this style:

1. centerline theory- wing chun people claim "most of your important organs are on the centerline, so you must protect them by placing your guard there". oh really? which ones? your liver, pancreas, spleen, kidneys, even heart, are NOT ON THE CENTERLINE. and forget about " pressure points" on the centerline. i'd rather you hit me with your fancy smancy pressure points than get a DIRECT HIT to my liver because i was too stupid to guard it like a good boxer does.

2. a straight line produces the most power- if so, then why do baseball players swing the bat in an arc? why not just bunt? cause straight lines don't produce much power. torque and circular motion DO. i'd take a wing chun punch over a left hook from a boxer anyday.

3. intercepting is better than blocking- hate to tell you this, but in order to intercept (punch someone while they're punching you, without him actually hitting you) your action would have to be TWICE AS FAST as his initial action, because REACTION IS ALWAYS SLOWER THAN ACTION! there is a time lag between when he starts the action and when you percive the action, to when you react. and a good boxer gives nearly ZERO indication as to where and when he's going to hit you. 4. fuck your sifu- so tired of seeing westerners the size of football players groveling over little old chinese guys, calling them master. straighten your back, stop bowing, and get a life. 5. fuck your lineage- show me which lineage is winning in the MMA, and i'll listen, other wise shut the fuck up. half of the history your master told you is bullshit anyway, and it's damn well not worth having death matches over. 6. i learned the system , so i'm deadly - if it were that easy to be a badass, the whole world would be filled with an army of wing chun geeks wreaking havoc. luckily, things like toughness and killer cunning can't be taught in schools, and don't really even require a martial art to have. so prepare to get your ass kicked one day, no matter who much kung fu you know. 7. let's chi sao in public- a really narcisstic, stupid activity. 8. theory theory theory- til you get hit or taken to the ground. then theory doesn't mean jack does it? .... all for now. tired of writing.