Wednesday, June 15, 2011

taiwanese and useless morning exercises

i love going to the park in the morning. one reason is of course to keep up my walking. another would be to watch the "morning mommies" exercise class (those girls can move)! and they do some very good cardio/stretching/ strength training.
however, i also notice that a lot of taiwanese have a penchant for totally USELESS exercises/health practices. here's a list of some of them:

1. clapping while walking- totally useless exercise. it does NOT, contrary to popular belief " da chi" ( stimulate the internal energy)- try more like DEADEN the nerves in your hand! the sound is also irritating, so it's at the top of my list.

2. clapping behind your back- also useless, unless you count the stretching of the shoulders. you are also likely to RIP your shoulder muscles doing ballistic movements like this. better to clasp your hands behind your back and stretch to the count of 10.

3. walking backward- get the fuck out of the way! yes, it uses slightly different muscles than walking forward, but you don't get that much benefit from it.

4. yelling "hah hah hah"- maybe some work for the abdomen, but i know western exercises that work a hell of a lot better. and quieter.

5. slamming your back against a concrete wall- can you say " fractured spinus process?" that's what you'll do to the protuding part of your vertebrae. or how about collapsed lung? fractured rib? give me a break. this is good way to mess yourself up!

6. walking barefoot on the dirt- the excuse i heard for this is " the earth element will leak into my body and make me strong". also tetanus will leak into any cut or abrasion in your foot! really stupid! fuck yoga. so you can lick your own balls? i'll stick with sports medicine approved basic stretches, thank you!

8. tai chi- fuck tai chi. yeah, i'm being controversal here, cause tai chi has some health benefits: it lowers blood pressure, steadies the heart rate, induces relaxation. all around good things. so why am i dissing it? cause so many people think it is the ultimate, and it's not. there is no ultimate.

basically, a lot of people in taiwan just follow others and take what they say about exercise to be truth, instead of using their brains (something they're very lazy about doing) and getting the exercise FACTS that can really improve their health.

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