Tuesday, February 16, 2010

how taiwan can ruin your health

1. air quality- i remember the first day i walked around in taipei: the whole city smelled like a gas station! there are just too many vehicles for such a crowded, damp place.

2. sweet drinks- not only the 500cc shops, but the sugary drinks at most restaurants. taiwan has a recently aquired love affair with sugar. sure it's not going to make THEM fat, but it will my half-irish, diabetes gene carrying ass.

3. cheap carboydrate bread- yes taiwan bread is yummy, but definitely NOT good for you. cheap white starch, loaded with sugar. in fact even whole wheat here is not whole. it's whole wheat ADDED to white flour.

4. too much rice- white, polished rice is loaded into "bien dang" s ( lunch boxes) because rice is cheap and filling, but the carbo ratio is totally wrong, especially for Westerners.
add to that too much salt and everything being fried in oil,and it gets yucky after awhile.

5. motherfucking stress- as a foriegner here you will have more than your share. from the occassional racist slur on the street, to bosses who want the impossible, to the threat of being beaten or run over by some idiot on the street, the pressure is always there and needs to be escaped from occassionally.
zombie students and psychotic girlfriends also add to the stress load.

6. uneven sidewalks, parked motorcycles, and sharp objects sticking out of walls- i jammed my neck back and had to see a chiroparctor because the goddam sidewalk suddenly dropped a foot!! i have also torn pants and cut myself on sharp objects sticking out of nowhere. same for parked motorcycles sandwiched together. a real NO NO when you're wearing shorts. burned my calf more than one time.

7. getting hit by a truck- a high possibility. and i guarantee you the guy who hits you will be a blue truck driving, betel nut chewing asshole (switch that to jerkwad taxi driver for taipei).

luckily taiwan has EXCELLENT health care and massage parlors offer full service.
what more can you ask for?


  1. but if you think about it, that's what makes taiwan unique
    the air's an ass, but you can laugh at the zombie students and everything taiwan does to be "western"

  2. thanks for stopping by.^^
    yes taiwan's attempts at being western are a laugh, except when they actually try to COOK western! then i waste my money!
    not always. but a lot of times. i've had some pretty dissapointing spaghetti before. even after figuring in "local taste variance" it still sucked.
    japan, for some reason, always seems to make a really good version of whatever western food they adopt. but taiwan many times ends up making it taste terrible.

  3. Perhaps you should try some Taiwan food instead? LOL

  4. i love taiwan food. but i find there is less good quality stuff the further i get from taipei.

  5. F*** YOU! Then just do not visit Taiwan. Also, the part about girlfriends is just dumb. It is your problem if you have a girlfriend like this. It does not say anything about Taiwan.

  6. fuck me? are you sure you want to do that? i'm a guy?

  7. no country is above criticism. if taiwan wants to be accepted as a country, it must first grow up and learn to take the same criticism which all of the countries in the community of nations do,my own country included.